It Was All A Dream

I already accepted the fact that it is not meant to be. He decided that we can only be friends and doesn’t look into something more than that. It will all then be a platonic relationship. Is it worth my time and effort playing cards if he himself is not sure what he really feels, denies what he feels or sudden change of what he is feeling? Maybe there is a deeper reason and I don’t need any more explanation to it, just shoot me straight in the heart. It was overwhelming cause we have been friends for almost three years and even much more when we had the chance to spend so wonderful time together. I thought it would lead to a romantic relationship because of the connections during the times spent. Nothing has been talked about until we separated ways. I am not rushing into anything deeper but at least I want to know where I will stand. Is it that much too ask?

Yes, I admit I took it hard, having developed some pretty heavy feelings for the guy. Being rejected is no easy feat, I can’t help wondering if I’m approaching this sort of situation the wrong way but for all I know I don’t own anything. Whatever it is taken, it is never been mine. So let go 🙂 It was just so fast and sudden.

I know some of you have all been in a situation where someone you’re interested in may not necessarily be on the same level as what you feel. As much as it hurts and regardless of how many times you tell them about your true feelings, it won’t necessarily change their mind or how they feel about the situation. It isn’t selfish. It’s just what it is. There is no need to complicate things more.

You may probably been in the reverse situation too–where someone was very much interested in you, but you simply didn’t feel the same way or didn’t feel it was a good idea to get into a relationship at the time (for whatever reason you have). I was there before and I am really sorry for the guy. I know he hates me more than anybody else in the world. I feel a bit of a guilt but someday he will thank me of letting go. You deserve a lot more. 🙂

I am hurt and more than confuse as it may seem he decided this on his own without really discussing with me clearly why and how I may feel about the situation. He had a lot of chances, discussing it with me before things gets too close. I know I couldn’t change his mind, but I guess I wanted to at least let my feelings be known. I was upset that he didn’t talk to me about it earlier or the moment before we part ways. It seemed very out of the blue too knowing he is already a thousand miles from me. He simply decided that we were just close friends after all those intimacy and what do you say to that? If a mind’s been made up, it’s awfully hard to change. Of course, it cause panic on my part. Thinking we should have discussed this personally not when we are already apart. Rude, but it maybe easy for him to do so especially if you are a jerk, again for whatever reason I really don’t know!

I think what’s a strange concept to get around is the idea that he can just end a potential source of happiness just like that and depending on the relationship, he may not ever know why if he has emotional or mental issues at that time. It could be out of left field or a long time coming, but it could happen in fact it really happened to me. It scares the hell out of me in the dating game.

The way I see it, it’s just another experience. I’d simply remember that I’ve liked people in the past and have gotten over them in the past and nothing would stop me from doing the same now. I wouldn’t necessarily view it as a be all end, all kind of thing–regardless of how much I would have sincerely loved the moody guy.

I can’t survive in an unrequited love. It will dangerously damaged my self esteem.  I would not allow that of course. I don’t deserve anything like that. I just need a real man. And so that is the final chapter of my Summer Romance. Finding my closure within 🙂


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