You’ve seen this before…The lovely platonic “friendship.”
And I have experienced both of it. Sucks the hell out of me. Life is so twisted-crazy, it is so bright and colorful enough and I need to wear a sun glass!
I found this article by Garnet Stream.
A. Fallen hopelessly in love with someone, but they simply “aren’t ready;” So they say at least. So what do you do? Pour more love and attention on them of course! Then they will surely fall for your charm and see how great you are for them! They keep sending you mixed signals. They eat up all you offer one minute and the next they’re flat out refusing to partake in it. What gives?
B. Run into someone that is highly receptive to you, but you’re not willing to commit. They’re sweet, kind and caring to you. Sometimes you fall into the moment and bounce the ball back into their court and play the game. Then stop. Then start again. Then realize how wrong it is. You don’t feel right, but you don’t want to hurt this wonderful person, either. Maybe time will change your mind?
Sound familiar? It’s a nightmare! What can we do it about it, though?
If you’re Person A:
Please don’t get caught in this whirlwind. If you hear “I’m not ready” it’s time to let it go. Perhaps you’ve even heard, “I feel like you’re pressuring me. Can’t we take things slow for now?” If the object of your interest doesn’t reciprocate and isn’t on the same page as you, forget it. You can’t make them! No matter how wonderful and fantastic you are, you’ll get hurt. It takes two to play this game, but one to walk away.
I know, I know. “But he/she is so great for me. We have so much in common…It’s only a matter of time before we’re together.” The truth about this spider web is both sides know the truth. We’re lying to ourselves for this moment of pleasure…in exchange for what seems like an eternity of pain. Protect that fragile heart, no one else will. At least not the person you’re trying to win over.
They’re so confusing! They’re intimate with you, responsive, just like a real relationship – Except it isn’t! Only in your head. A day later they are avoiding you and you’re hurt and lost. What have you done? Maybe it’s something you can fix.
No. It’s not you. The only thing you’re doing wrong is sticking around and hurting yourself trying to get to the other side of that huge thorn bush because you’re so blinded by your love for him/her. Remember – He/She put that thorn bush there for a reason. So you can’t get through.
You’re not without blame either. Let’s face it. You like this attention. You don’t want to let it go. You want to keep Person A around for what ever reason. They care for you. They’re there when you need them. They’re such a fantastic human being…but for some reason, your heart is saying no. When your heart says no, even that faint resistance at the beginning of a relationship as this…Listen.
I know you don’t want to hurt Person A. They’ve been so nice to you. You drop hint after hint or flat out tell them you don’t want a relationship, but they keep coming back for more. You know why? Because you’re letting them! You’re not strong enough to give the final blow…You say something like “I’m not ready right now” or “Let me sort out myself, first.” The problem with these is they leave things open for the future. You don’t want to flat out tell them you’re not attracted to them that way or you simply don’t feel your heart going pitter-patter like theirs.
‘Cause that would be so mean! You know what’s really mean, though? Stringing someone along for months at a time when they could be giving all that effort to someone else. I know it hurts, but it’s the best thing for both of you.
You know how I know? I’m a self confessed Person B (3 years ago). This long and winding path has led us both into flames. I feel terrible for what I’ve done and I never wanted to hurt him, but I couldn’t bring myself to such finality. He couldn’t close the door on me knowing how much love he had in his heart for me. One of us has to be strong, though. Don’t let it get to this point.
And recently, I am also a self confessed Person A. Do you think it is Karma? Well, I am too blessed to experience all things in life to make me strong and better person. As Joel Osteen say, they are the weeds of our lives that just come along and will be taken away sometime. We never meant to plant it, it just happen to appear and there are ways to remove them.
You’ll be saving yourself a serious case of heartache, whichever person you are. Maybe things will blossom later on life, but at this stage, Person B is not ready. Live your lives and don’t look back. You never know what life holds in store.
Well, I was almost teared apart with the heartaches but I still manage to save myself and kept on moving. I experienced both being a person A and person B.
I hate being the person B yet I understand why he is being person B. Sounds confusing, right!
Person A: Stupid
Person B: Selfish
So… what do you think?
- Choice of words (meliluv.com)
- How to be a Heartbreaker (jennalianne.wordpress.com)
- Why do we hurt those whom we love the most? (unwrappingminds.wordpress.com)
- I’m in love, how do I not go crazy? (ask.metafilter.com)
- All The Good Ones Aren’t Taken: A Letter to Single Ladies (melissajenna.com)
- Am I Foolish For Waiting For A Non-Committal Man To Commit (Recommended to Read)