Diverting Thoughts

Most of the time I suppress emotions through life thinking that they will just go away. But on the contrary, suppressed emotions never go away, they actually grow and build up inside us creating a variety of stress related problems. I am in that situation now. I created anxiety, tension and as the energy from these suppressed emotions builds up I react in ways I don’t like or even understand.

Usually when I get angry, I don’t lash out like some people do, but take it out on myself. I am hyper-sensitive, always eager to please, always the first to notice if something is out of place. Which means there is an up-side to being with someone like me in a relationship.

But in my current situation, my initial reaction is I release anger and lose temper just to release the pressure of the pent up emotions. It created a momentary feeling of relief because I have put the emotion into action it doesn’t get rid of the emotion. All things has been said and done. I did more harm by offending and hurting the person my anger is directed at, I endure the pain of guilt on top of everything else. And the one who suffers most is my son. I hate that. This is my eye opener and I have to do something before I put emotional stress on him.

By means of  letting go, I know everything will be back to normal again. If I am willing to release negative emotions everything will move forward and develop true potential in direct proportion.

First and last thing I did is to let the person know how I really felt about our situation. The true feelings I had for him, the pain that I am going through, the extreme confusion of understanding his situation. It may sound so depressing but I need to blurt them all out. It is no longer an issue to me how he will react to it or not. It was just fair for both of us. And I deserve some respect to the least. And the closure of saying Goodbye.

After all the acknowledgement of emotions and the pour out, the usual thing I do is meditate. I enjoy sitting or walking along the shore or somewhere where there is silence. There is something about silence along the shore that relaxes my mind. I talk to myself and sincerely pray.

By merely meditating, I learn to recognize and observe negative emotions without reacting to them. And unknowingly they eventually lose their power and fall away. Simply observe, don’t get involved, don’t try and stop emotion, just curiously observe where it is coming from. I don’t know how I do it but it just flows smoothly. Mind and body talks. You will feel or recognize these emotions by a feeling somewhere in your body. Through regular meditation I always find the real peaceful and happy me.

Pen, Journal, Web Blog
I express my heartfelt feelings through writing. This is how I cope up with my emotional stress. I can say whatever I want to say just write the words that spontaneously coming out of my thoughts. Other than this, I have another blog. I felt that there is a need for me to separate the situation that I am in right now because of too much complication. It involves sensitive mental issues to the person that I am involve with which is quite too complex to understand. I am in the process of denial for his issues. That’s the reason I am going through a lot of stress.

For the meantime Try to Avoid Thinking About My Problems A break and time to get out and hang out with my friends. Chit-chat. Listening to music. It helps a lot. It relaxes my soul.

Reading, Internet I focus most my attention to the Internet, like now. I find websites useful, very informative and pre-occupying. Before I realize it, time has just “flown by”, leaving me, hopefully, more knowledgeable and stress free during the time lapsed. It seems to work, for me at least.

Coping By Working Hard Work when it is time to work and that is all day for me. I love what I do and I continue to even love it more when in emotional stress and at the end of the day I forget everything which is a lot more helpful to me.

I Am Bigger Than Stress I never divert myself from a troubling situation, rather prefer to find out the cause behind it so that if it was at all my fault, I take responsibility and then play accordingly. If I am not behind it, then I question my self, “Is this useful?” or ” is it that important to be taken that seriously?” My other way of dealing with any stress in my life to consider that stress very small before me. I have to think of this again over and over to always remind myself. I tend to be forgetful at times.

Spend Time With My special love one…Ian We go to the mall and spend a lot of time eating 🙂

Physical Activity Running, this is my stress reliever. Always getting the runner’s high.

These are ways of coping up with emotional stress my whole life and it all works well. I just need to remind myself every time I fall out of place. I admit I was too consumed by my strong emotion of affections. It was left inside sleeping for a long time and when it was awaken. It went delinquently out on her own with so much joy, so high!


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